🕒 7 min read
📅 June 5, 2025
✍️ By Victoria Rose
This is the story of how I healed the belief that I had to give to receive…
My body held memories of physical abuse and abandonment.
Somewhere deep inside, I believed I had to earn touch. That pleasure had to be transactional. That being held or adored came with strings attached.
Orgasmic Meditation—or OM—has helped me unravel that belief.
It’s taught me that I don’t have to give to receive. I don’t have to perform. I can just be—and still be loved, seen, and cherished.
This practice became a doorway back to my body, my worth, and my pleasure.
Table of Contents
- Why I Practice OM
- What Is Orgasmic Meditation?
- Energetic Erotic Blueprint + OM
- Roles: The Giver and The Receiver
- Creating the Space & Setup Tips
- How to Practice OM: Step-by-Step
- Presence, Meditation & the Mind
- Closing the Practice
- OM & Sex Magick
- Final Thoughts + Your Turn
Why I Practice OM
Besides healing my relationship with touch, OM is one of the few practices that helps me quiet the noise in my mind and drop into the sensations of my body.
I tend to live in the upper chakras—thinking, planning, analyzing. But pleasure doesn’t happen in the mind. It happens in the moment.
Orgasmic Meditation has become a nervous system reset and a softening back into trust.
It’s helped me create new pathways of intimacy rooted in presence, not performance.
What Is Orgasmic Meditation?
Orgasmic Meditation (OM) is a 15-minute partnered practice where the person in the female body receives gentle, focused clitoral strokes—without needing to give anything back.
Let me be crystal clear here: The goal is not orgasm.
Yes, orgasm may happen—and if it does, beautiful! But it’s not the focus, the expectation, or the marker of success.
If you’re aiming for orgasm, you’re missing the invitation of this practice. OM is about sensation, connection, and presence.
And yes, if orgasm does occur, it can become a powerful moment to practice sex magick—but more on that in another blog.
Energetic Erotic Blueprint + OM
The Erotic Blueprint system is a framework created by Jaiya that identifies five primary ways people experience arousal and pleasure: Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky, and Shapeshifter.
Understanding your blueprint (and your partner’s) can unlock deeper intimacy, improve communication, and help you reconnect with your authentic desires.
I’m an Energetic, which means I get turned on by subtle energy, anticipation, and presence.
Sometimes, even a breath or a look can send tingles up my spine.
My pleasure doesn’t live in friction or fast-paced touch.
In fact, some of my favorite turn-on spots include:
the back of my head
the inside of my elbow
the side of my neck
or even my big toe
And when it comes to penetrative sex?
For me, that’s dessert—not the appetizer or the main course.
It’s something to savor after all the energetic foreplay has filled me up.
If you’re also an Energetic—or if you’re in a relationship with one—this matters.
OM gives us a way to meet where we are. It helps bridge differences when Erotic Blueprints don’t match, offering a safe, consensual, and pressure-free space for both partners to relax and connect.
If you don’t yet know your Erotic Blueprint, you can take the free quiz here:
👉 Discover Your Erotic Blueprint
Roles: The Giver and the Receiver
The receiver is the one receiving the clitoral strokes.
The giver remains fully clothed and offers presence, groundedness, and devotion through their attention and touch.
This is not a transactional exchange.
There’s no “your turn next” energy. This is about learning how to receive with trust, and give without expectation.
Why? Because real intimacy begins when we let go of keeping score.
Creating the Space & Setup Tips
Before you begin, set the space. Make it sacred.
Here’s what I recommend:
A small pillow under the receiver’s head
Two larger pillows under the knees for comfort and hip support
Socks or a soft blanket to stay warm—because comfort is everything
A timer to hold the 15-minute container
And let’s talk lube: lubricant is mandatory. (Note: I always recommend coconut oil—because once you go coconut, you don’t go back 😉 (iykyk))
How to Practice OM: Step-by-Step
1. Start with Conscious Touch
Spend a few minutes with non-genital, clothed touch led by the receiver.
Explore using the four elements—fire (using your nails and masage), air (barely touching the skin), water (flowing consistent movement), and earth (grounded holds with pressure).
This settles the nervous system and builds trust.
2. Set the Position
- Receiver lies back, feet together, knees gently open in a butterfly shape.
- Giver sits upright with:
- Left leg draped across the receiver’s torso
- Right leg tucked underneath both of the receiver’s legs for support
3. Observe with Reverence + Prepare
Once both partners are settled, the giver takes a moment to pause and witness.
They describe out loud what they notice about the yoni—its colors, texture, shape, and any swelling or changes.
This isn’t analysis—it’s reverence.
A sacred moment to honor the divine portal before them.
After this, the giver:
- supports the vulva with their right hand—thumb gently resting at the vaginal entrance, palm beneath the receiver’s butt
- gently draws back the clitoral hood with their left hand
- applies coconut oil generously (this is a must, not a maybe)
4. Begin the Stroke
- Using a soft, consistent up-and-down motion, stroke the upper left quadrant of the clitoris with a pressure no stronger than an eyelid touch
Communication is key.
Some receivers are more sensitive in other areas—sometimes the upper right is juicier.
My partner and I often switch it up. That’s totally okay.
Make it your own. There are different strokes for different folks. 😉
5. Use Your Voice (Gently)
Receivers: it’s important to speak up if something doesn’t feel quite right.
You don’t need to narrate the entire experience—just simple, soft requests like:
- “Softer.”
- “Slower.”
- “More to the left.”
That’s all you need.
Less talking = more presence.
Presence, Meditation & the Mind
This is a form of meditation.
Meditation, at its core, is the practice of training your attention.
In traditional meditation, we often aim to clear the mind.
In OM, we focus the mind—on touch, on breath, on the sensation unfolding in real time.
When your thoughts wander, gently bring your awareness back to the stroke.
Back to your breath.
Back to now.
This kind of sensory meditation is an advanced practice—one that invites your entire being to come online.
Closing the Practice
When the timer ends, the giver gently places an open palm over the vulva, cradling it with reverence and care.
In my own practice, my partner always asks:
“Would you like to continue for another 15 minutes or are you ready to complete?”
This is optional, but beautiful.
A simple invitation that centers choice, presence, and deep listening.
OM & Sex Magick
If orgasm arises during OM (again—not the goal!), it can become a potent moment to transmute that energy into a desire or intention.
Orgasm holds power.
You can ride that wave while focusing on what you want to call in—whether it’s healing, abundance, clarity, or love.
This is the essence of sex magick—and I’ll be sharing a deeper dive into this soon in an upcoming blog.
Final Thoughts + Your Turn
Orgasmic Meditation changed the way I relate to my body, my pleasure, and my partners.
It taught me how to receive.
How to slow down.
How to trust again.
If you’re curious, give it a try. Let it be sacred, silly, awkward, beautiful.
Let it be yours.
And if you’ve already tried OM—or if you’re inspired to try it after reading—I’d love to hear from you.
Drop a comment and share your experience.
You never know who your voice might liberate.
With tenderness, presence, and a scoop of coconut oil,
Victoria Rose
Growing up in Christianity did a number on my confidence, my voice, and the way I saw myself in the world.
I was taught to be small.
To submit.
To distrust my own desires.
To be seen but not fully expressed.
My sensuality was shameful.
My leadership was “too much.”
My intuitive gifts were often labeled “rebellious” or “dangerous.”
I internalized those beliefs and carried them into adulthood — and into my marriage, where I struggled to express my needs, set boundaries, or even own my power.
And yet…
There are pieces of my Christian upbringing I still cherish deeply.
Chief among them: the teachings of Jesus.
