đź•’ 7 min read
✍️ By Victoria Rose
đź“… April 16, 2025
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There was a time when I thought love meant being agreeable. That my worth was tied to how much I could give, how well I could meet others’ expectations, and how little space I took up. I was the woman who said “yes” when she wanted to say “no,” who swallowed her own needs to keep the peace, and who mistook sacrifice for love.
But at some point, my soul started to whisper—until it began to scream.
Table of Contents:
- The Breaking Point: Realizing I Had Lost Myself
- The Path to Reclamation: Learning to Say “No”
- Finding My Voice: The Power of Speaking My Truth
- The Invitation: Step Into Your Power
The Breaking Point: Realizing I Had Lost Myself
For years, I played the role I thought I was supposed to: the good wife, the dependable friend, the one who always had it together. I worked tirelessly in my career, checked all the right boxes, and shaped myself into what I believed others wanted me to be. But deep inside, I felt empty. Unseen. Like I had built my life around a version of myself that wasn’t even real.
My marriage was the mirror that showed me just how much of myself I had abandoned. I had convinced myself that love meant prioritizing someone else’s needs over my own. And when that love fell apart, I wasn’t just mourning the relationship—I was mourning me. The version of me that I had ignored for so long, the one who had been screaming for her own attention.
The Path to Reclamation: Learning to Say “No”
Walking away from my marriage wasn’t just about leaving a relationship; it was about reclaiming my power. But that was only the beginning.
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People-pleasing is insidious. It doesn’t disappear overnight. Even after my divorce, I noticed the same patterns creeping into my friendships, my work, my new relationships. I would catch myself hesitating to express my needs, fearing I would be “too much” or “too demanding.” I worried about disappointing others, about not being the version of me they expected.
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Then I realized: the only person I was truly disappointing was myself.
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I started practicing boundaries. Not just in theory, but in action. I began saying no to things that drained me. I let go of relationships that didn’t honor me. I stopped hooking up with people who were not aligned with my desires and values.Â
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I started to cherish myself and my energy, recognizing that not everyone deserved access to me. I also began to only date people whose values aligned with mine, and while my circle of people became smaller, the love I felt grew exponentially. The people who remained in my life were those who showed up consistently, who loved and respected me unconditionally. I gave myself permission to change my mind, to take up space, to be human. And I reminded myself—daily—that my worth was not dependent on someone else’s approval.
Finding My Voice: The Power of Speaking My Truth
The most liberating shift in my journey was learning to use my voice. To speak up, even when my voice trembled. To express my desires, my fears, my boundaries.
One of the biggest lessons I learned was that love—real, deep, soul-nourishing love—doesn’t require self-sacrifice. It doesn’t ask you to shrink. Love honors your needs. Love listens. And most importantly, love starts with you.
My healing journey led me to become a coach, guiding others through the very transformation I experienced. I’ve learned that self-empowerment isn’t about being loud or forceful—it’s about being authentic. It’s about standing in your truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s about choosing yourself, not as an act of selfishness, but as an act of radical self-love.
The Invitation: Step Into Your Power
If you’ve ever felt like you were losing yourself in the expectations of others, I see you. I’ve been you. And I want you to know—it’s never too late to come back home to yourself.
Your voice matters. Your needs matter. You matter.
The journey from people-pleasing to self-empowerment isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it. Because on the other side of that fear is freedom.Â
And the more you choose yourself, the more you inspire others to do the same.
So, here’s my invitation to you: take up space.
 Speak your truth.Â
Love yourself so deeply that no one else’s approval can shake your foundation.
Because you were never meant to be small.
