đź•’ 8 min read
✍️ By Victoria Rose
đź“… April 16, 2025
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“But I’ve never been through anything that bad… so is it really trauma?”
If you’ve ever minimized your pain or questioned whether your struggles “count,” this post is for you.
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The word trauma gets tossed around a lot these days—which is good in some ways (we’re finally talking about it!) but can also lead to confusion.Â
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What is trauma, really? And what does it mean to be trauma-informed when offering coaching or support?
Let’s gently untangle it all together.
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Understanding trauma—especially the kind that’s often overlooked—is key to reclaiming your voice, your body, and your wholeness.
Table of Contents
- What Is Trauma, Really?
- Big T vs. Little t Trauma
- How Trauma Shows Up (Even When You Don’t Realize It)
- What Is Trauma-Informed Coaching?
- Why It Matters on Your Healing Journey
- Ready to Heal Gently and Powerfully?
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What Is Trauma, Really?
Trauma is not just what happens to you—it’s what happens inside of you when an experience overwhelms your ability to cope. It’s the emotional, physical, or spiritual wound that forms when something feels too much, too fast, too soon, or not enough for too long.
It’s also what happens in the absence of what you needed—like safety, love, acceptance, or attunement.
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The nervous system doesn’t respond based on what’s “logical” or “big enough.” It responds based on what feels like a threat in the moment.
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Big T vs. Little t Trauma
When most people hear the word trauma, they often think of catastrophic events — abuse, violence, or life-threatening experiences. While these are certainly valid and impactful forms of trauma, they represent only part of the picture. In reality, trauma isn’t always loud or dramatic. Sometimes it’s quiet, subtle, and accumulates over time.
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In the world of trauma healing, we often refer to Big T and little t trauma to help differentiate the types of experiences that shape our nervous systems, beliefs, and behaviors. Both are important. Both can leave lasting imprints. And both deserve compassion, acknowledgment, and healing.
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Let’s explore what each one looks like — and how they might be showing up in your life.
Big T Trauma
These are the more obvious, acute events—what we traditionally think of as trauma:
- Car accidents
- Physical or sexual abuse
- Natural disasters
- War or serious injury
- Sudden death or loss
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These often lead to PTSD or noticeable symptoms of shock, fear, or ongoing anxiety.
Little t Trauma
This includes ongoing, subtler experiences that chip away at your sense of safety, self-worth, or connection:
- Being constantly criticized or ignored
- Growing up in a home where emotions weren’t safe
- Being bullied or shamed
- Having to parent yourself or others
- Rejection, betrayal, or emotional neglect
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These “smaller” traumas are just as valid, especially when repeated over time. They often lead to feelings of unworthiness, chronic stress, burnout, or relationship struggles—and are deeply stored in the body and nervous system.
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How Trauma Shows UpÂ
(Even When You Don’t Realize It)
Trauma doesn’t always look like flashbacks or panic attacks. Sometimes, it looks like:
- Always needing to control things
- Never feeling “good enough”
- Numbing out with food, work, or screens
- Over-explaining or apologizing
- Shutting down during conflict
- Feeling like joy or pleasure isn’t safe
If any of that resonates, you’re not broken. You’re just protecting yourself in the best way your system knows how. And it’s possible to shift that.
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Why It Matters on Your Healing Journey
When trauma isn’t acknowledged, personal development can feel like spiritual bypassing or self-blame. You might ask:
“Why can’t I just get over it?”
“Why do I sabotage good things?”
“Why do I freeze when I try to speak up?”
Trauma-informed support doesn’t shame these patterns—it understands them. It meets them with softness and skill. And it walks with you through the messy, sacred process of becoming whole again.
Ready to Heal Gently and Powerfully?
If you’re craving healing that feels nurturing, embodied, and free of pressure—I’ve got you.
Through my Awakened Authenticity coaching, I guide souls of all genders through trauma-informed practices like somatic awareness, inner child work, breathwork, and self-love rituals. Whether you’re healing from heartbreak, shame, or a lifetime of feeling not enough, you are welcome here.
You don’t have to carry your healing alone.
➡️ Ready to begin? Explore my offerings or book a free discovery call here.
➡️ Or start with this post: Resourcing & the Window of Tolerance
